What I don't get about kids TV

I have toddlers. I watch a lot of Children's TV. Some is awesome- Yo Gabba Gabba is the mother-flippin' best. Some is crap. Pingu can bite me.


But my concern is not about quality, it is about whether it works. I don't care if it's the premise of the show is totally wacky and out there- it must make sense within it's own universe.


OK, so it's for kids, right? So why do I find so much of it confusing and weird?


Peppa Pig
Her name is Peppa Pig. P.P. Her friends are Susie Sheep and Rebecca Rabbit. S.S and R.R. There's a Pedro Pony and a Danny Dog and a Zoe Zebra.
WHY IS HER BROTHER'S NAME GEORGE???

Also, why do Peppa and George go and feed the ducks in the pond, who say quack and swim around like ducks? Why aren't they called Diedre and Dave? Why aren't they talking in cute voices and sitting next to Peppa in Madam Gazelle's classroom? Is this some kind of animal segregation or discrimination? Are the ducks being forced to stay de-evolved, just so Peppa and George (AKA Pepe) can feed them bread?


Cars
In the world of Cars there are no people. So, why are the cars cars? A car is a people moving vehicle. They are not needed in that universe, so why do they exist? Why do they have rear view mirrors? WHO IS LOOKING OUT THE BACK WINDOW???

Little Bear
There is more than one 'little bear' in his community, I'm sure. Are they all called Little Bear? It's cool when he is hanging with his friends Duck and Owl in the woods, but what happens when they go to school and there's another little bear, another duck, another owl. This is why names exist, animals. Why make your lives so confusing?


Also, why does Father Bear wear clothes, but Little Bear doesn't? What is it with inconsistent clothing  parameters in children's Television in general? I have seen a lady polar bear (on Claude the Little White Bear) wearing no clothes, but wearing a necklace, looking in a clothes store window at dresses. Why does she care about dresses?? She only wears a necklace! If dresses do exist in her community, someone is wearing them. So, is she some kind of non conformist nudist? Way aren't the other bears pointing and gasping at her brazen only-a-necklace attire??


It was said that iconic Aussie kids TV characters Fat Cat and/or Humphrey B Bear were taken off Australian television because of their lack of pants.  Apparently this was morally wrong and could damage our children. Beloved children's characters who don't fit into human social clothing parameters are going to morally mess our kids up, but Kyle Sandilands is still  on TV. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

Bananas in Pajamas
Are they Children? Where are their parents? Are they adults? Why don't they have jobs? They buy stuff from Rat's Shop, so they have money. Where do the Bananas in Pajamas get their money from?

Grandpa in My Pocket

Why does it exist AT ALL?! Every single character makes me wanna punch a kitten. Whoever is responsible for this show needs a good kick in the shrinking cap.

Before you say anything, YES. I have put way to much thought into this and I need to chill out. 
But, if I don't point out the GRAVE errors and inconsistencies, then who will?!! I'm just thinking about the children here, people!

 How bout you? What drives you nuts about kid's TV?


Oh, and if you haven't already, how 'bout heading over to vote for me in the Sydney Writer's Centre Best Blogs People's Choice Award? I'm on page 5.