Tuesday, 10 July 2012

How to choose your soap opera husband

Ok, so I may or may not have watched a LOT of Daytime Soaps in my time... 
When I was younger, Days of Our Lives and Young and the Restless were on at about 3 in the afternoon. So we would get home from school and watch them with mum. Eighties sparkly evening wear around the house and enough fake deaths to fill a desert island. Awesome. 

Through my pregnancies and my two staying-at-home-mum tours of duty (fourteen years apart) I have succumbed to their trashy, badly acted siren's song. Ahh, Salem, Genoa City, LA... you are my towns. The Forresters, The Abbotts, The Hortons and The Bradys- you are my families. Dimeras, Kiriakis' and mean old Stephanie... you are my nemesis'. Nemeses....Nemesises. Nemisi... Damn it, you know what I mean!

OK, so here's some relationship advice for all you Soap Opera Character Ladies out there. Pay attention. This is important. You are going to be married at least FIVE times in your life. You don't wanna screw it up.

And before you say anything: 
Yes, Daytime TV sucks. 
Yes, Soap Operas are terrible and ridiculous. 
Yes, I am an educated, empowered woman who reads books and discusses important things. 
And YES, I still watch Days of Our Lives most days.... Oh the shame! 

Do you watch soaps? Don't pretend you don't!

11 comments:

  1. I think we may be sitting down on the lounge at the same time! LOL! I mean doesn't everyone marry their father in law, brother in law & maybe even get it on with the sister in law too? LOL!

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    1. Ah ha ha- I'm proud of you for owning up Jos!! Well you wouldn't have top change your business card if you keep marrying men with the same surname!!

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  2. VAT has happened to VICCCT-orrr... is he dead or has he had head TRAnsPLant????

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  3. Yay, Gillian...Another flowchart! Going to go choose a husband now...brb...

    OK. I'm back! Order the cake! Oh, and since we have never met in person, will you be my maid of honor and bring some background people that you meet on the plane to be my guests (try to get a good ethnic mixture). Thanks!

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    1. Awesome. I'll be on the next flight with my racially diverse entourage. Don't be surprised if you and i end up being long lost sisters or something though. Or our plane will crash.

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  4. This is too funny! I love it! I had to SHOW Mr Cool as I was laughing so hard that I couldn't actually explain it... You are scary clever. Scary, scary clever.

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    Replies
    1. That is my favourite compliment EVA! Scary, scary clever. That's going on my business card... :-)

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  5. OH MY GOD - this is Hilarious! xx

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  6. Great article Lot's of information to Read...Great Man Keep Posting and update to People..Thanks
    Johnny Cassell Ltd

    ReplyDelete

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