Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Fennel Schmennel

Ok. So. I have something to tell you. It may change how you feel about me, but I have to be honest with you.

I don't like cooking.

I frickin' hate it.

It doesn't inspire me. It doesn't feel like a creative endevour. It isn't a joy or a relaxing delight.

It is a pain in my ass.

If I could hire a small, perhaps monkey-like, minion to prepare ALL OF OUR MEALS I totally would. But, my husband says no... Cos monkeys throw their poo and apparently it would be 'unsanitary' for it to touch our food. I say 'whatever, dude. A poo throwing monkey chef would probably be a better cook than me, so it's YOUR LOSS!'

It's a bit taboo to say you don't like cooking. It goes against the earth mothery-nurturing image a lot of us think we are supposed to aspire to. But we never win that race, do we? There is always a new one starting any minute! Homemade cookies and mummy-guilt for everyone!!

Don't call child services- I feed my children and my husband. I make a nice curry, a passable chicken soup. I guess if I was a contestant on a cooking show, the judges would say 'where's the love?"

My answer: It's food. It's fuel. I have food issues, maybe. I am a bit overweight. The universe messes with my head when it comes to food as it is. But, you know, it's not love. Maybe that's the problem. linking food and worth and emotions. I love my family and I show them in a mutidude of ways that don't involve fennel.

What the hell is fennel anyway? Where was fennel ten years ago? All of a sudden every salad is meant to be about fennel!

Fennel schmennel

Do you like to cook? Do you have a monkey chef? Do you use fennel?


  1. I like to cook. I believe one of many talents is cresting something out of nothing to feed the family. The idea of a monkey chef sound attractive let me know if you get it off the ground, I could be interested in casual hire.

    1. Trude you are awesome, I do wish i had the cooking talent. i just don't!

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  3. I have used fennel for decades and not only in a salad, saute it serve with asparagus, steamed as well for those that don't saute. It does has a slight licorice flavor and is wonderful in a fruit salad, with eggs and Fennel seed tea is excellent for settling the stomach, the best recipe for infants with colic.

  4. I like to cook...most of the time. There are days when I couldn't be bothered.

    I often have at least one monkey sous-chef...that is, if you consider my kids to be monkeys, which I do.

    Fennel. Um...yeah. I don't think so.

    Fennel seed? Sure...those are the itty-bitty things that get stuck in my teeth when I eat Italian sausage. :-)

  5. I love fennel (just what you wanted to hear right?) It is a most versatile and wonderful food. Salads, roasts, pasta, fennel is a star. You should move to Tasmania where it grows on the side of the road and people don't know what it is and then pay 4 dollars at woolies.
    Cooking is cool man, unless you HAVE to do it and then I would fling your monkey's poo at it. Trudy is on a winner, making food out of nothing is awesome, cooking to recipes sucks, too much expectation.


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