Wednesday, 23 May 2012

On being a maker of boys

I often think that I am very lucky to have boys. The thought of parenting a girl freaks me out. Combatting the negative influences constantly being pelted at your little girls would be terrifying. The media, TV, Bratz dolls, Rhianna... so many stupid messages telling girls that they are not good enough. Unless they are trampy. And leave the house with no pants on. Goodness me....


I am a maker of boys. I have made one big one and 2 little ones. I have had the big one for 16 years now, and ever since he was born I have felt the responsibility of creating a man. A man who will respect girls. Who will not be taken in by the mixed messages little girls who don't know any better can project. I want to create the kind of men who will know that girls (and women) are more than their appearance, more than their clothes. These will be men who know that the images of women in magazines. film clips and on the internet are not always real, are often nothing but smoke and mirrors and have nothing to do with actual women and how they should be perceived. 


So, although I have not made any girls, I want the mothers of the girls out there to know that I take the responsibility of your girls as seriously as you do. I know that my part is equally as important.  You teach the girls to respect and value themselves and to know that they are totally enough, just as they are. I'll teach my boys to recognise that and to know it is awesome.









17 comments:

  1. Jodi Hamlyn-Harris23 May 2012 at 23:08

    As a mother of almost teenage girls, I thank you and hope there are many more boy-mothers out there who are thinking, talking and teaching the same. I wish I had met boys whose parents had taught them this way when I was one of those little girls who projected mixed messages long ago. (NB to readers: my girls will never get the benefit of Gilly's excellent boy-raising skills in a 'one-day-they-might-just-grow-up-and-get-married-and-wouldn't-that-make-a-cute-story' kind of way, as they are the big boy and two little boys' cousins.)

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  2. Hee hee.. you're funny. You should start a blog :-) Your little girls are gonna have all of us watching out for them and any dude that comes near them is gonna have to answer to us!!

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  3. Loveity love this.
    LOVE.
    LOTS.

    Really!

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  4. Totally 100% how hubby and I feel with our son. We're trying to raise a man not a dude.

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  5. I have one of both and see both sides. I hope I can manage to raise both to act with respect - or themselves and others. Luckily I've got 10 years or so before they become teenagers and my parenting really gets put to the test!

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  6. I wonder if having one of each will make it easier for them to relate to/ empathise with the other gender? I am one of three girls and come from a lot of single gender families, so I'm interested to know how that would impact.

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  7. I have 3 girls, one is a teenager, and you just made me teary with this post. Hope there are lots of other mums out there like you, and I promise my daughter will never leave the house without pants.

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    1. I hope there are too! I'll keep my eye out for your daughter- she'll be the one in the pants :-)

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  8. I have two boys and am petrified of teenage years! I hope I can teach them to be all those wonderful things but who knows?! Despite our best efforts sometimes kids just don't turn out right. I guess doing the best we can is the best we can do. But I certainly take it seriously too. I want to be the mother of the nice boys so the mothers of the girls can rest a little more easily...

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    1. I'm glad to hear you take it seriously too Kate. So many boy-mums don;t, i think. They think its the girls parents responsibility. That 'Boys will be boys' Man, i hate that saying! And you are totally right- we all just do the best we can and hope our kids don;t need too much therapy in their thirties!!!

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  9. What a fantastic post ! I am the proud mama of twinlet boys and I actually cringe when people say, "Oh, they're going to be heartbreakers" Because I actually hope they won't be and that they'll treat women with respect.

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    1. I know- people say that like it's a compliment! Weird.

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  10. Sounds like a plan to me. Keep it up Mom!

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