But, HANG ON! IMMA GOING TO WORK TODAY!!!!"
So I jumped up (well, maybe I lurched up) and donned my Back in Black worky clothes. I made my Lovely Husband a coffee, kissed my little boys goodbye (they couldn't care less that I was leaving! They were too chuffed to be cuddling with daddy) and off I went.
It has been said that you can't, or shouldn't go back. That to return to places of past is to go backwards, to de-evolve. But, what if returning to the past, the 'known' is the very way to move forward into the future? Today, I returned to the past. I rejoined a team. I fitted back into a space that seemed to have been held for me since I left it. And I was happy. I was useful.
Useful. How great is it to feel useful?
I climbed ladders. I changed the clothes on mannequins. I remembered tasks and routines that I thought were long gone. I was busy. I walked. I ran. I spoke to more people in one day than I usually do in a week. I had that kinda crazy adrenalin fizzling through me.
Of course, I am totally of use, totally important and needed within my universe. My boys and my husband know my value and my worth. I am an ace mother and a kick ass stay at home superstar mum.... But, to feel the universe around me, to see new things and people, to be of USE. It was awesome. And holy shit, it was exhausting!
So, tomorrow, when my alarm goes beepety-beep, I will be glad that I don't have to leap out of my cosy bed, but I will be looking forward to Sunday, when I can be useful once again.
What does 'being useful' mean to you?