Friday, 17 May 2013

Dumb Things I Used to Think

So I think I'm pretty intelligent. I know stuff. I get stuff. I am not an idiot. I often claim to know everything... or everything worth knowing...


I am happy to admit that there are a few things in my life that I have thought that were just plain dumb.

Here are...

The Top Five Dumb Things I Used to Think

I used to think Detroit was a country in Eastern Europe. Near Beirut. Which I also thought was a country in Eastern Europe.

I mistook the lyrics to the Kenny Rogers Song 'Lucille'. The line is: 'Four hungry children and a crop in the field.' I thought it was: 'Four Hundred children and a cross bred blue seal'

I used to think that if you farted, and you sniffed vigorously enough, you could suck up all the smell before anyone else smelled it. I called it the Fart Vacuum.

I thought the purple pod things that fall of banana trees were poisonous and would burn you if you touched them. Wait, I thought that because my sister told me they were! I may be dumb, but she is evil :-)

Until my late twenties, I thought New Zealand was where Papua New Guinea is. I couldn't understand why it was so cold there if it was closer than us to the Equator. Note that I am now married to a cartographer. 

So, what dumb things did you used to think?

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  1. I used to think that the little flowers on apple trees etc were just cute little flowers that grew near the apples, until my smarty pants husband told me the cute little flowers WERE the apples (or the start of them, anyway). That was last year. I am quite old. I also used to think that Olivia Newton-John and I were somehow separated at birth (I was about 10 and she was ... much older). I also used to think it was quite amusing to tell my little sisters that the purple things that fall off banana trees were poisonous and would burn you if you touched them ...**insert evil laugh here **...

  2. You commented!! Yay!!! You and livvy could totally be twins!

  3. Oh dear lord woman you crack me up. Fart vacuum. Seriously? Lmao!
    Up until I met hubby I believed that my friends dad from primary school job was dying flamingos pink. True story and proudly told hubby (my new boyfriend at that time) luckily he saw through my stupid and he stuck around despite the fact I've showed him plenty more stupid then that.


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