The Stephen King Universe Flowchart- my fourth child and craziest creation

So, people ask me, "What's your blog about?"

I say, "Um… Well, It's a lifestyle blog.. and an Art blog… and I kinda talk about my kids and my family.. and movies and craft and… and I… um… made a flowchart… That's what most people visit for…"

And they say, "A Flowchart? Whaddya mean?"

And then I try to explain The Stephen King Universe Flowchart….

Some people get the idea straight away and say, "Awesome.  My favourite book is …….. and I love Eddie Dean*!"

Other people, after their eyes have glazed over, say, "I have no idea what you are talking about, but I still like you, cos you're pretty and stuff"

Thanks! Now, just 'cos you said that, Im gonna blow my own trumpet!!

This crazy flowchart has been one of the most satisfying creative endeavours I have ever embarked upon. I love knowing I have created something that has resonated with so many people. 

It makes my head spin that my chart has featured in some awesome places like

The New Yorker The Paris Review i09 Cracked.com The Huffington Post

And I love that there are so many nutty people out there who get it. Who love it. Who want it. You guys rock.

And of course, thanks to Stephen King…. I'm still waiting for an email :-)




*in related news, did you know that Aaron Paul might be playing Eddie in Ron Howard's  Dark Tower films!!! I think this is fantastic news, BITCH**!

** That's a Breaking Bad reference, Mum. Don't rouse on me for saying bad words on may blog…

It's a nice day for an Australia Day

In honour of 'Straya Day, here is a post I wrote a while ago about Australian Stuff.

Enjoy. I'm off to eat a lamington shaped like Alf Stewart.

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON TUESDAY, 14 AUGUST 2012

Australian

I am not an overly patriotic person. Australia's awesome, sure. But I'm not gonna carry on like a dick about it. There aren't many things that make me get all Aussie. The Olympics don't do it for me. I like to watch it, don't get me wrong. I like the Opening Ceremony... it's like a big Rock Eistedfod.

 I like the running and the falling and the jumping and the splashing. I don't care for the cycling and the lifting... but I am equally as inspired by the Russian twirly ribbon gymnast midget as I am by the Australian one. Although, I must say, Sally Pearson is my favouritest Gold Coast bogan-chick to ever win a gold medal. She is super cute. "Did you see me!!"

My husband gets a lot of stick for aligning with both England and Australia. Like, he can't be happy for the country of his birth AND for the country of his children's birth for being good at swimming fast? Cos that's all it is, isn't it? It's just swimming, running, whatever better than the other guy. It's not world peace or rocket surgery. Or something else important. Like flow charts.

At the end of the day, I'm pretty cool with whatever, you know? I don't know or understand enough about politics to have  an opinion on many subjects around immigration and nationalism. I believe that patriotism and 'Aussie Pride' can lead to some fairly unpleasant thinking and behaviour. I don't believe that loving your country means wanting to keep it all for yourself. 

I believe in people just being cool, for flip's sake. That's my platform. When I become Prime Minister (or Supreme Leader) my campaign slogan will be: "For flip's sake, just be cool, you guys."  I think I will win.

Anyway, I discovered last week that there is one thing that gets me all patriotic and proud to be an Australian. 

And that is a mob of kangaroos, just hanging out in a field.

Stone the flamin' crows! How cool is that.

They were just lying there, being all, "Yeah, so we are like totally on your Coat of Arms. All those tourists who come all the way to OZ, just to see us? They would be shitting their pants right now. THAT'S how awesome we are."

"Oh, and by the way, if you come any closer I will kick your arse."

Kangaroos. No one else in the world has them. Millions of people on the planet will never see one in the flesh. And they are just hanging out in our fields. Being awesome. THAT'S why Australia is pretty flippin' ace.

What makes you proud to be an Aussie? And if you are NOT an Aussie, what  makes you proud to be where YOU are from?

MR FABUOUS

This is what is commonly know as loving oneself sick.

Fancy Dress? Jasper says, "Yes please!" 

My Cup Runeth Over

So, I am inspired.
This change of life, change of scenery, change of EVERYTHING has given my creative heart a shot of adrenaline!

Maybe it's living with my mum- my collaborator, confidant, mentor and crazy idea-bouncer-off-er….

Maybe it's the hour long drive to work each day, when my mind goes bananas thinking up new ideas and schemes…. That is, when I am not singing Show Tunes at the top of my lungs…

Maybe it's the extra brain space that is now available… now that my mind isn't stressing itself into a hard little lump of coal…

Maybe it's that I just FEEL BETTER. I have tended to my health since we arrived here. I have looked for answers to long suffered pain and I have decided to prioritise my own feel goodedness. 

But, I have ideas, man. I am full of plans. I am gonna do stuff. ALL THE STUFF.

Above: This is the first peice in a series of paintings, looking at Fairy Tales in a new way. I am hoping these works will help me get involved in The Pop Up Gallery in Maleny….. 

 Above: Mum  nd I are planning on experimenting with Ceramic Decals. I am thinking of a series of mugs with different girls on them….

Above: And some mugs/ plates with owls...

 Above: We are going to enter some pieces into an art exhibition that is linked with the local Maleny production of 'The Vagina Monologues'. This is the digital work up of my planned painting- again looking at the Fairy Tales/ Nursery rhymes in a different light :-)

Above: I am looking forward to these new paintings and have quite a few planned. This is Little Red Riding Hood…

So the mountain air agrees with me and my drawing hands. If only my hands could keep up with my stooped thinking mind!!

What are you planning? 

I'm talkin' 'bout Boys (yeah, yeah, Boys)*

My boys. 

1, 2 and 3.

One big one, and two little ones.

Maximus Prime, Eli Schmeeli and Jasper Lou Lou.

The last few months have seen some big changes for all three.

The Big One. My Awesome Teenager. He left school, left home, started work, and turned 18. He grew up a little more. He went to the Formal. He continued to love and be loved by his Awesome Girl.

He made me smile and he made me miss him. He is funny and intuitive and loyal and unique.

I look at his manly, grown up face and can't wait to see the life he (and his Awesome Girl) will carve out. I hope it is a nice one. They deserve all the fantastic-ness that is available.

 
My Little ones. My monkeys. So different, so identical. 

They can't wait to start their new school. They love living in the country. They love being Super Heroes. They love each other. Their imaginations are vast and unusual. Their words are hilarious and profound. They are kind and crazy and clever and fearless.

I hope they will always be as enthusiastic and passionate about life as they are right now.

I am a Maker of Boys (yeah, yeah, Boys). And I am happy with my work.


* 'Boys' by The Beatles (vocals by Ringo Starr) from the album Please Please Me

Come to Maleny and empty your hands

Thanks 488! I think she may be the Mayor….

SO! Hey Blog! How are you?? I have missed you HEAPS! You don't have to say you have missed me… don't feel weird.

I am now coming to you from the gorgeous mountain town that is Maleny, Qld. We have left the Big Smoke (well, it was Brisbane, so maybe the Medium Smoke) to become Mountian Folk. And I COULD NOT be any freakin' happier! There are cows out the window!

Life has changed a lot in the last few months. I lost my blogging mojo. Mostly, due to the fact the My Lovely Husband was headhunted by a large international computer company. There was a LOT I couldn't say about that. So, it's hard to Blog about your life, when you can't talk about your life, you know?

Shit got really hard and complicated. 

When I worked in Visual Merchandising, I would sometimes find that I would be trying to do something, like unpack a box, or put out some catalogues, or something, and I would be holding something else in my hand. Usually a box cutter. So, I need the box cutter for the task, and I don't wanna put it down, cos I'll probably lose it. I have no  pockets, so I've gotta keep this thing in my hand. Its important. But keeping it in my hand makes doing the actual task that Im trying to do so much harder.

I often think this is an analogy for my life. I am always trying to keep the important things in my hand while I'm trying to do all the other jobs, or situations and experiences in life that I have to do. It's making everything harder. But I don't wanna put the important things down. But I have to do the task…. Does that make any sense?

Anyway, during that time, both Gav and I had about ten things each that we were holding in our hands and the tasks and jobs we were trying to do just got harder and harder.

We were literally almost strangled by red tape. To cut a long boring, depressing story short, due to very complicated Visa/ Internet/ Blah Blah Blah issues, Lovely Husband and Big International Jerk Company parted ways. 

All of a sudden, we are no longer moving to the USA, we are about to sell our house, and I am the Breadwinner! Crazy.

The Universe (most of the time) kinda gives you what you really want. I was extremely disappointed for Gav, and so proud of how he conducted himself during those weeks, but I was also very relieved that I was not going to have to live on the other side of the planet. I was not going to have to leave my Awesome Teenager behind, I was not going to have to be away from my parents or my sister. All the fears and anxiety I had been kind of pretending I wasn't feeling were suddenly alleviated. Thanks Universe.

Now, we are living with Mum and Dad (until we find a house) in this beautiful little town. We are five minutes from my sister. The boys are loving living in the country. My Lovely Husband is getting heaps of freelance work. I have a job, I am still selling Stephen King posters and have started painting again. I might join an Art Gallery group. Or a choir. My Awesome Teenager and his Awesome Girl are not too far away and they are starting their own story together.

Now, I am not holding a box cutter, or anything else that is making my tasks harder. I am empty-handed.

Life is pretty awesome sometimes, you know?