Friday, 9 November 2012

Groundhog Day and other complaints.

Hey dudes.
How are you doing? It's been a while. You know, the old "If you don't have anything nice to say.... drink lots of wine...."

So, let's, for a moment, embrace the negative. Let's celebrate the annoying, the frustrating, the bullshit. Let's say, really loud, "Hey stupid shit that keeps happening, it's your turn to shine!!!" There have lots of hard, crap things happening in my universe of late that I won't go into, but instead:

Here is a list of whingy, petty, pain in the arse problems!

  • Moving carseats between cars can make me want to punch a kitten.
  • Why is it so hot! Who wants it be this hot? Make it hot at THEIR house. Not mine.
  • Why doesn't my Apple TV work? It worked 2 days ago. Does it not know that it holds ALL THE MOVIES my children want to watch???
  • Landline phone. PISSES ME OFF. I hate it when people phone me on the landline. I have to get up! And go over to it! And then I don't even know who is ringing before I say hello! DARK AGES MUCH?
  • None of my clothes fit. Even the ones I have bought recently seem to have shrunk. Being overweight SUCKS.
  • Cooking food is not fun. I do not enjoy it. I do not love it. It is not a delightful experience. Jamie Oliver can choke on a preserved lemons.
  • Every day is Groundhog Day. Same games, same movies, same mess, same fights. Where is Bill Murray? Oh that's right! That was a movie! This is  my life.
  • Technology can bite me.
  • If you are waiting for my car park, don't expect me to hurry just cos u are sitting there with your blinker on. I have twins and shopping to put in the car. That will take as long as it takes. Edging closer and closer is not going to make me go faster. It is going to make me sit in the drivers seat and check Twitter before I reverse out. Deal with it.
  • Government red tape and bureaucracy always seem to favour the OTHER guy. We never seem to get a break.
  • Why do TV stations replay the same movies within weeks of each other? They must own shitloads of films. Stop playing that Bruce Willis movie where he's the hostage negotiator and show us something else!
  • Cracked heels. You are killing me.
  • Smashed iPhone screen. Are you frickin' serious?
  • Wees on the floor.
  • 4.30am wake ups.

Who is running this place?? Cos I wanna speak to the manager!!!!

What are your first world problems?

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  1. I hear you! Especially the people waiting for my car park. I refuse to feel the pressure to hurry. Even when I'm alone!

    If it makes you feel any better, I giggled at the Jamie Oliver crack...

    I'll add: Mums who staple their kids' Tuckshop bag closed so I have to rip out the staples to get the money... and... People who don't forward their mail so it keeps appearing in my post office box...

    Hope the little stuff took your mind off the big stuff for a while!

    1. Cheers Tonya! Oh I hate non mail forwarders too! We still get old owners mail 5 years later!!

  2. On the other hand - I love the little things. This week I was the Pirate Princess, Your Majesty and Your Highness, and am now feeling like I should have been married to Charles, not Camilla!!!!!!!! But, I throw away the mail of the previous owner with with great relish.

    1. mummu you are totally a princess pirate!! But I'm confude... is Dad Charles or Camilla??

    2. * Mummy... although I may start calling you mummu from now on :-)

  3. Gil, baby I hear you!! I can tick all these boxes. Especially cracked heels (grand canyon anyone?) & tight clothes. We could have a podgy-pedi pity party together! Oh & I refuse to answer the landline - I just let everything go to the answering machine.

    And would you believe I got sent a speeding ticket today? I don't know who's running this show but I agree, we need a change of management! x

  4. Oh bugger about the speeding fine Nee! Thats sucks arse. Glad to hear I'm not alone though :-) We should totes compare gross feet!

  5. Firstly, I can watch Bruce Willis endlessly as long as he has a gun and blows things up (that's my preferred feel good movie)
    Second, apple is an evil enterprise me and the guy who invented the computer are both anti apple. And to steal from the usual suspects 'the biggest trick the devil ever played was to make people believe apple wasn't a pile of sh&t'.

  6. Stupid iPhone froze. Beloved blackberry never did...why oh why did I change??
    So hear you on cooking and if I have to listen to JO I start to twitch...

    1. I am considering changing to an android device soon Lydia... But my husband is a total apple fanboy!

  7. lol I had a good chuckle at this post.

    When people wait for my carpark, it makes me want to go slower. I love the idea about reading twitter.

    My first world problem is I get really annoyed listening to news readers or radio presenters stumble over their words. Get your sentence right!! It is what you are paid to do!!

    1. Oh man- YES! I hate stumbly news readers too! Reminds me of when I was a little show off in primary school and i would get really mad when other kids messed up when they were reading aloud. I would think "i could read that IN MY SLEEP loser!!!"

  8. Do you have PMS? This ^^ was me last week! I had PMS :-/
    I'm with you on all these things.. except that I don't have twins, nor do I have an iphone.
    It's funny actually, because just before I clicked on this post, I was thinking about how today is the weekend and it would be so good to do something exciting, but alas.. it is raining.. so instead, it has been another day, just like the other ones :-(
    Let's catch up soon and do something fun!!! xo

    1. Hhmmm.. PMS.... you may be onto something there Cass! We should totally do something fun!

  9. Yes to all of those! And I hate the pressure of people waiting for my car park!

    1. I never pressure people to get a carpark like that. I figure i'll find one eventually. Oh and I hate the stalkers who follow you from the lift! Slowly driving behind you. Creepy.

  10. I so hear you. I've been hiding under my rock this week (with my bottle of wine:) for the very same reason. Why does nobody put milk in my fridge? I can't handle the whinging. Nonstop. Makes me want to do an interpretive dance involving the karate kid.

  11. It must be going around Kim! I like the sound off that karate kid dance.

  12. You are funny, funny, funny man. I love it when you let your dark bits hang out. Don't get me started, star sister on technology, I couldn't even be bothered working out how to post (is that the right term?) this comment as anything but anonymous! (longtime ignorer of technology - first time posterer) Thankyou for my present, yours is still ready to send and thankyou for that long...manic....giggle. See-and you didn't even have to get up x x x

  13. Hmmm... I think your list is pretty comprehensive. You could add something in there about parents-in-law... but... that would escalate into yelling and then I would need to sit an rock in the corner for a bit and I just don't have time for that.

    Love that you don't like landline phones either.

    You are funny, although I get that there are some things going down that are not so cool.

    Hugs, high five and wine vouchers for you!


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